When resistance might be your friend

Sometimes the behaviors that drive you crazy when your kids practice them on you (in particular, resisting and generally refusing to comply without inquiry) are the very ones you want them to implement when faced with situations involving pressure from their peers or other sources. In those other unpredictable situations you want them to be discerning.  You don’t want them to follow without question. What’s annoying when it’s done to  you could well be a boon when it turns up at a party or behind the wheel – in the face of the unpredictable.

And it’s easy to point out the difference in the situations; you know that what you’re trying to get them to do is in their best interest (at least you have decided it is).  And they should be able to tell the difference.  But the point is that their parents are the only ones kids can safely practice on, so it’s actually quite wise, and a relief, that they at least begin with you. If you won’t honor the inquiry implicit in their resistance (as distinct from engaging in a power struggle about it), they’re likely to give up on practicing, or take their practicing elsewhere.

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